Monday, September 29, 2008
Why I love wildflowers
The best person in my life was born tomorrow. This is for her. Happy Birthday Trish. I love you.
A few years ago I met my wife. I really started to like her when, on a date with my family no less, we started playing Killer Frisbee and she started knocking people down to make a catch. It was the point of the game, after all. Very cool. A hot girl. And a tough girl. And a fun girl.
After that I started to get to know her better. Smart. Fun. Up for a challenge. Great listener. Sincere. Kind. And she smelled really good. I still remember how great it felt to hold her hand. It was like a warm blanket wrapped around us wherever we touched. But I especially loved to hold her hand.
I knew she was different, this relationship was different, when we so quickly and effortlessly grew so close. Within a few weeks I was at a point with Trish that had taken me a year or more to get to in my previous relationships. New territory.
I owned a landscaping company in college, which I loved; nature, getting paid to exercise, and a mind free to think. One day, as I worked I remember walking down a path of wildflowers at one of my properties while thinking about Trish. I realized I was at the dreaded crossroad again. Was I ready to give my life to someone? Yes. Was this the Someone...?
I had been here before. Many times. I hated this place. The problem with relationships is that you have to get to the point where you really care about the answer before you can even ask the question. Which means you are going to hurt, or they are going to hurt - every time - until the one time that you don't.
I'm a list guy. Pros/Cons. Work it out. Solve the problem. So I made my list: reasons why I am ready; reasons why I'm not; reasons why we're good for each other; reasons why we're not good for each other; and so on.
I don't remember a single item on the list. All I remember is that as I thought about Trish that day I started to feel guided with answers to my questions - some of which you can't answer logically. Thoughts flowed to me like I was having a conversation with a wise, trusted friend. And I was. I have never before or since had such an extended period of personal revelation. I spent the entire day in quiet communication with the Lord and He very directly answered every single question I had.
That night Trish came to see me. By the time she got there I was completely at peace with our future together. I remember sitting in my beat up Chevette, parked next to that path of flowers holding her hand and telling her about my day. I remember looking at her and thinking, "I really hope I am not freaking her out right now".
And also I remember how good she looked. And smelled.
Thankfully, her feelings for me were mutual. We prayed together about starting a life together and felt peace. It was beautiful.
Since then I've added a lot of things to my list of reasons why I'm ready, why we are good together, and why she is the one for me. I hope she has too (or at least that her list of pros still outweighs the cons).
We've passed through some heavy winds and rain and a lot of sunshine too. But no matter what happens I will always know that she is my Someone.
I still love how she smells. And how it feels to hold her hand.