Loving Because Of - Not In Spite Of

Have you ever been in a restaurant or at a bookstore, or on a park bench and seen a happy senior couple sitting quietly together? One of the greatest things to see, in my opinion. I am always struck by the wisdom, humility and calm in their eyes.

So, when I see a couple like that I smile and wish I could look through their lives and soak up the lessons they've learned. What could they teach me about being happy? How many times did they worry about money or health or kids? What did they give up to be happy? How many times have they chosen to forgive? To think that they have been there at each other's best and worst for so many years brings me hope. Hopeful because they chose to allow life's trials and triumphs to bring them together and not to drive them apart.

And if they can do it, so can Trish and I.

So, in the spirit of becoming more like these couples, I was wondering the other day about just how to get closer to my wife.

Hard to imagine that is possible. But just in case it is, how would I do it? My sister had a great blog that started me thinking about this. And I was impressed by her answer. And I'm sure Alfer is too.

One of the commenters on her blog said something I thought very wise and worth exploring further. She said, in essence, that when she learned to love her husband not in spite of but because of who he is, she became happier and more secure herself. Music to a man's ears.

You see, for a guy, we aren't interested in being changed. We are interested in being loved just the way we are. So to be accepted and understood for our interests, traits, and shortcomings is good. But to be loved more because of those things - that is the ultimate sign of affection. And the coolest thing a wife could do...



Upon further reflection, it occurs to me that perhaps my wife would appreciate the same treatment.

Damn.